Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Paragraph writing - Jane Schaffer method - example 1

Thesis
The story of Cinderella is about a woman who goes through many stages in life
Topic Sentence (TS)
The story starts with Cinderella leading a miserable life.

Concrete Detail (CD)
For example, she does all the cooking, cleaning, and sewing.

Commentary (CM1)
This shows that she feels taken advantage of by her selfish stepmother and stepsisters.

Commentary (CM2)
This is important because her horrible life gives her a present, her fairy godmother.

Concluding Sentence (CS)
As a result, her fairy godmother has no trouble convincing her to leave her work and to become a princess.
As a Paragraph

The story starts with Cinderella leading a miserable life. For example, she does all the cooking, cleaning, and sewing. This shows that she feels taken advantage of by her selfish stepmother and stepsisters. This is important because her horrible life gives her a present, her fairy godmother. As a result, her fairy godmother has no trouble convincing her to leave her work and to become a princess.

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