Paragraph writing - Jane Schaffer method - example 2

Thesis
Global warming is a problem that can no longer be ignored but it is also a problem with many solutions.

Topic sentence / statement (TS)
Global warming is a world problem.

Concrete detail sentence (CD)
If it is not stopped, many experts believe that the world may be drastically hurt.

Commentary (CM)
(CM1) For example, in the movie "Inconvenient Truth", Gore presents many graphs to explain how the earth will be harmed if nothing is done about it (Gore, 2004).
(CM2) These graphs show that pollution from cars and industry are the biggest contributors to global warming.

Concluding Sentence (CS)
(CS1) As a result, we must all begin to solve the problem of global warming now and not tomorrow.
(CS2) It must begin with a look at ways to reduce pollution from cars and industry.

Paragraph

Global warming is a world problem. If it is not stopped, many experts believe that the world may be drastically hurt. For example, in the movie "Inconvenient Truth", Gore presents many graphs to explain how the earth will be harmed if nothing is done about it (Gore, 2004). These graphs show that pollution from cars and industry are the biggest contributors to global warming. As a result, we must all begin to solve the problem of global warming now and not tomorrow. It must begin with a look at ways to reduce pollution from cars and industry.

Paragraph writing - Jane Schaffer method - example 1

Thesis
The story of Cinderella is about a woman who goes through many stages in life

Topic Sentence (TS)
The story starts with Cinderella leading a miserable life.

Concrete Detail (CD)
For example, she does all the cooking, cleaning, and sewing.

Commentary (CM1)
This shows that she feels taken advantage of by her selfish stepmother and stepsisters.

Commentary (CM2)
This is important because her horrible life gives her a present, her fairy godmother.

Concluding Sentence (CS)
As a result, her fairy godmother has no trouble convincing her to leave her work and to become a princess.

As a Paragraph

The story starts with Cinderella leading a miserable life. For example, she does all the cooking, cleaning, and sewing. This shows that she feels taken advantage of by her selfish stepmother and stepsisters. This is important because her horrible life gives her a present, her fairy godmother. As a result, her fairy godmother has no trouble convincing her to leave her work and to become a princess.

Paragraph writing - Jane Schaffer method

A writing teacher in the USA came up with this strategy to help students learn to write "well connected" and "logical" paragraphs. Paragraphs where ideas are properly connected.

Topic sentence / statement (TS)
This sentence should state the fact and be straight to the point.

Concrete detail sentence (CD)
This sentence is the "what" sentence and is a fact. It should be either facts, examples, illustrations, evidence, support, paraphrases, citations, quotations, etc. It should be a concrete detail and should start with 'for example' or a different transition.

• For example,

Commentary (CM)
There are atleast two commentary sentences in each paragraph. They often (but not always) contain no facts. Instead, they contain comments from you the paragraph writer about the fact presented in the CD. This sentence contains analysis, interpretation, opinions, insight, or reasons. It can hold more facts to support the "point" made in the CD.

Most commentary sentences start with one of the following transitions:

• This (also) shows that
• This is important because
• This is because
• In addition,
• Furthermore,
• Therefore,
• For example,

Concluding Sentence (CS)
The Concluding Sentence (CS) is the closing sentence that wraps up the TS and sums up the paragraph. It closes up the thoughts and often provides a clue to what the topic will be in the next paragraph. It often has emotion or connotation in it - encouraging action. It usually begins with "As a result" or another concluding sentence. It can be more than one sentence.

• As a result,

frappuccino freak. (2004, April 10). The Jane Schaffer Writing Program. Everything2.com. Retrieved May 5, 2009, from http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1530903.

Heurta, S. (, n.d). Jane Schaffer How-To. Heurta's English Class. Retrieved May 5, 2009, from http://huertas.vms.lusd.org/Janeschafferhowsto.html.

Various contributors. (2009, May 3). Schaffer paragraph - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. wiki, . Retrieved May 5, 2009, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schaffer_paragraph.

Vista High School Staff. (, n.d). Teaching Jane Schaffer’s Multiparagraph Essay - A Step by Step Guide. Vista High School . Retrieved May 5, 2009, from http://209.85.229.132/custom?q=cache:Uu-t_i1o_lkJ:vhs.vusd.k12.ca.us/currint/mpe/mpe95.ppt+Jane+Schaffer&cd=7&hl=en&ct=clnk&client=pub-4099951843714863.